Time and time again in my career as a coach, I meet people whose ambitions and aspirations are but a dream or a fantasy. Unfortunately, many people have big desires that are not rooted in a realistic assessment of their own potential or abilities.

Now you may challenge me by saying that an ambition is an ambition and the purpose of it is to motivate and drive you towards it. To release the energy and take the steps required to achieve it. I totally agree with you on that one, but not everyone has this mindset.

"Hard work beats talent, every time."

I'm not trying to be a dream crusher, but even a blind man can see people who are just hoping a desire will fall into their lap without putting in the hard work. Take, for example, a mid-level employee who saw a social media post about a colleague getting promoted to CEO and is now aspiring for the same career role.

It's great to have this ambition, but often people expect to reach this position without actually putting in the work. I'm going to say it again, just to hone in on my point - they lack the foresight to make a realistic assessment of where they're at currently in their own potential or abilities.

For these individuals, the best indicator of where they can realistically get to is by looking at their past track record. It is rock-solid proof of their potential and of how the decision-makers view them in their organization.

In other words:

• What would spur a sudden lift-off to take you to a C-level position?

• How would you suddenly be so different, so capable, with such a high potential that you will become the chosen one?

So, when they come to me to ask for my guidance, it makes my job as a coach tricky. Sometimes, my gut reaction to their ambition would be to laugh out loud and ask them whether they are kidding. But of course, I cannot do that - it would be hurtful, unethical, and rude.

So, what do I do?

Ask questions. I revert by prompting them with specifics that get to the root of those ambitions. I ask about:

• What they know about the requirements/qualifications for the target position?

• What they know about the span of control of the role?

• Whom would the role holder be interacting with regularly?

• What s/he needs to understand or know about that role?

• Why do they want to be in that role?

If the answers are too off track, I offer my experience and understanding to challenge their views. The questions are step one; the second part is the extra push to really get them thinking.

Embodying the Role

If one really wants to reach a C-level position then it’s important to envision becoming the version of the person who can step into the desired job role. So, better said, I simply want them to embody the person they need to become, which leads me to my second step.

I ask them to identify competitors for the role they want. To research where they come from and what they bring to the role. The reason I ask them to explore their competitors and not follow in the footsteps of their role models, is simply to light a fire.

A role model is often perceived as aspirational, someone who has already achieved what you want, who could be from another country and have a vastly different trajectory from the one you're currently seeking. Therefore, you feel separate from it.

However, a competitor is someone vying for the same job role. They're the person you have to beat. No matter their background, you're both on an even playing field. This means that if the competition has a certain degree and you don't, then they have the potential to take the exact thing you desire so greatly.

This is how I like to light the fire that kicks off self-realization, which hopefully leads to actionable steps. Plus, it gives people a more realistic assessment of reaching their ambition.

So, am I still the dream crusher?

Maybe you perceive me as destroying people's dreams, but I am very far from wanting to make others look or feel small and meaningless. Quite the opposite; I want them to grow and unfold. But, I prefer this to happen based on their talents and what they bring with them rather than relying on wishful thinking.

Agree with me?